Love yourself - yeah right, hippy.

I've met very few women who seem to genuinely have good self-esteem. I'm not sure what it is about our culture, but women from all walks of life seem to be trained to think they are worthless, and base their self-worth completely on their accomplishments or other things external to themselves.

I was raised in a loving household with a mom and grandparents, aunts and uncles, who told me regularly how fantastic I am. Nevertheless, I find myself constantly undervaluing myself - doubting my abilities, for example, if my coworker doesn't take my suggestion, or feeling like a failure as a mother when my double-booking causes me to miss a PTA meeting. I've always been an over-achiever, and always felt like I have to constantly prove how strong I am and what I can do. Is there any escape?

There is a multi-billion dollar industry offering solutions to my problem. The Small Business Association even has a special website addressing the topic for women business owners. Yet - here we still are - the most successful of us struggling every day to feel good enough. There has to be a simple answer. I'll let you know if I find it.

Balance is bunk!

I know about balance. I've been to a lot of talks and read a lot of articles about work-life balance, but I can't say I ever met anyone who mastered it or even came close. Lately, I tend to agree with Keith Hammonds who says that Balance is bunk!

Simply cutting back on work inevitably fails, because in real life, success in work is predicated on achievement. In a competitive business environment -- which is to say, every business environment -- leadership requires commitment, passion, and, to be blunt, a lot of time.

I've always wanted to believe that I can have everything - a fulfilling and passionate marriage, children who are happy in a close family, a successful career, and a community that thrives with my contributions. I've worked for a large technology company on a fast technical professional track for almost 7 years, I've been married for 16 years and have three children. I help run two girl scout troops, and serve on the elementary school executive PTA board. I just graduated from college last year after 15 years of classes. I help run an engineering camp for young girls. I try to publish at least one paper nationally or internationally a year. I have the best sex life ever!

I've done a damn good job of convincing myself and everyone else that I can do it all. I can have it all. And it's all a lie.

The truth is, I'm stretched really thinly. I have done a great job of maintaining all of the things I mentioned and more, but it comes at a great cost. I'm constantly driven by guilt to do more and better, and very little of the time do I find myself happy and satisfied, or even able to acknowledge everything that I accomplish. I have to ask myself - what am I living for? What is really important - proving that I can do everything, or having a life full of happiness and satisfaction? Step one: I have to first acknowledge that those aren't the same thing. This is where I am now, we'll see what happens next.